This morning I found myself waking up with an empty feeling, the type where you know it’s the next day and it’s time to start a new day but you remember the pain from yesterday. Yesterday, I had an argument with my mom about something stupid. I can take the fact that she’s illiterate that causes her not to understand things some times, but it bothers me a lot when she acts out on them. I was so angry that I did something really regretful to retaliate. I’m possibly the worst child ever.
Sometimes I wonder how I could live with the purpose for my mom yet do something so wrong.
After this incident, I feel that a sense of my purpose is lost. For what reasons am I fighting for. For what reasons am I living for if I constantly make the same mistakes over and over.
My mom is sleeping now and so is my brother so things is a little quieter giving me some time and peace to write about this. I am really hungry now. I wonder what I should focus on today.