It Makes no difference.

The worst feeling in life is realizing how impossible your dreams and goals might be and really submitting to that. 
I have never felt in my life.. wanting to just call it quits this bad. 

Yesterday, not sure what i was doing anymore.. 

I saw the future.. and it scared me shittless. I couldn’t handle it anymore.. and I really thought that death would be the most reasonable way out should the time come.. 

I told myself to just give up on all my dreams and appreciate what i have now. I didn’t want to regret anymore. neither could i accomplish anything on my own . anymore. 

Did I bounce back from this experience? 

No, reality is reality. You can’t change that. It’s either I accept reality and move forward or fight against it. But it’s not a reality i can accept .. to fight i feel futile. To not fight, i feel temporary.. burden lifted off my shoulders. but i am only risking the future.. the only hope is really to fight.. or to accept things as they are. either way is painful. 



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